April 28th 2014 to May 4th 2014
I think I hit a turning point this week. It was amazing and seriously the best week ever. I feel like I am having a lot of those at the moment but it was the best week I believe where everything went so good and as we had planned. I don't know why but today I just feel so happy. These last few days I have been feeling so extremely happy that I cannot describe it. My heart feels full. It really does. I don't think my happiness has ever lasted this long before but I love the way I feel. Its just a happiness that I cannot describe. Great start to the day, Monday, I get to email and that is always a great start to the week. Last week my week flew by my eyes. I cant even at times comprehend how fast time is flying and I say that every week but it is and its freaky. it is so scary and I just don't like it. I am making the most of my time being out here on the mission.
Monday last week, my companion went shopping and bought me badges and banners for my birthday. BUT forgot to buy the birthday cake. Now my companion was absolutely bummed because she wanted to make my day special. I was like don't worry about it, I bet somebody is going to give us cake and seriously I love my companion, Sister Davis. She is absolutely a trooper. She always beats herself up when thing sdoesnt happen and I was able to cheer her up and it was just because of a cake. I felt really content that day. Peaceful and calm and I was wondering what was happening to me. I was truly happy and felt like it was my birthday that day. Not a happy like all excited lets get pumped, but a happiness where I felt like my life was full. I had everything I needed for a great birthday and it was just loving people to spend my day with. My companion especially on the one day where people get homesick because its their birthday and they want to spend it with their family. Im so lucky that I have my amazing companion. I wondered why my family said, lean on your companion she is your rock now that we aren't there, and I truly understand now why they said it whereas before I couldn't understand. But I was like at the time, allgoods, I will without even really meaning it I guess. We headed out to work after6pm bcause that is when our time ends and its back to work. And we popped over to this one home. Sister Meredith is a less active member of the church and I love her so much!!!!! She is simply so funny! Sassy nd crazy and everything about her and what she says just fills me with laughter and tears coming out of my eyes. We love being able to see her. She is a member of the Church but hasn't been coming in a while and so we pop by and see if there is anything that we can do for her and she always feeds us. That's why we getting fat! That's why missionaries get fat!!!!! We had a prompting to go to the Merediths home to see how they were. And we could see why our Heavenly Father prompted us to go there. Sister Merediths daughter was there and she isn't a member but its been hard to see her because shes so busy to meet with us to talk and everything. But there were 2girls there and they said that they have been waiting and wanting to find the answers to their questions for so long and finally they were. They felt so happy and asked us to come back the next day to teach them. One of the Lakita asked to be baptised and we hadn't even told her much. She just knew that what we shared with her was true. The Lord really comfirms to me and grows my testimony that as we listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost we will be blessed and I truly can see that the Lord really does prepare us for those that are ready for us to teach. That night they found out it was my birthday and they invited us back the next day. But we had to leave early because we had another appointment somewhere with another Less Active Family and ilove less actives because you have the opportunity to reignite the gospel in their lives. Apparently since I came they have been so diferent. They have become progressing back towards the gospel. Maybe its because Im maori I don't know but seriously they remembered it was my birthday from 2weeks before when they found out and they walked out into the sitting room with this gigantic cake!!!! I was like oh my goodness!!!!!!!! so so so much CAKE!!!! The mom Sister Taka was up at midnightbaking the cake when the got home from their holiday away. I love that family!!!
Tuesday came and it was my birthday! It was the BEST!!!! Sister Davis woke up and baked me pancakes and I had whipped cream and jam and bananas!!! So good!!!! Elders came over and had lunch. Elder Napier is from New Mexico, USA and he can make Mexican food. Obviously but hes aerican not Mexican. Anyway he made Mexican fried bread and my zone leaders bought me a happy meal with a girls toy. I specifically asked for a girl toy and they laughed. I seriously love my area that I am serving in. My recent converts drew me some pictures that they had been working on. Tamia had and I loved it. And the Merediths through me a surprise party that night. So blessed right. I loved my birthday and felt so special. I couldn't believe how great of a day I felt. Big 21 and on the mission. Lakita said to me that night, I felt like she was going to cry, and she sid, I feel so priveledged that you spent your big 21st with us. I was like I feel priveledged to be able to spend it with YOU!!!! I love my mission I can tell you that for sure!
So on Wednesday my companion went to Hamilton for training purposes as she is a sister training leader for the area and looks after all the sisters in our zone. Anyway I stayed in Auckland and lead the area where we serve. And so I was the one that lead the day. Who we were going to see, the lessons that were going to be taught was all up to me. Pressure pressure pressure!!!! But no it was so much fun. We done service where trees had been cut down at a members home and we helped clean it up and it was one of the first times I took charge of one of the main lessons that we teach. I wanted it to go good because this was the first lesson. I wanted to be on my Agame because you have to make the right first impression and I didn't want to stuff up the lesson or teach false things. But all went to plan. I forgot some of the things at the start but illed in the gaps at the end and explained that we aren't perfect teachers and neer will be but we can try our best to get across the message they we want to share. Wednesday night when my companion got home I could tell something was up and it wasn't until that night that we talked and I could feel something was up. She was alittle homesick I guess. I don't know what was wrong with me. She said a simple sentence and said, "do you ever have that feeling when you just want a blessing from your dad" and it hit me hard! I didn't know what had come over me. The spirit hit me so hard that I cried. I didn't know why I was crying and I didn't know how to tell my companion. The words weren't coming out of my mouth. But I finaylly leaned unto her and told her how I felt. I told her how I look to her as an example and how she has great faith and that she has so much faith in a priesthood blessing. Its something so intimate and loved that she just had that tender moment where she just wanted one from her dad. I told her that's what I loved about it and I said I don't know why Im saying this but its like the spirit has touched me and my body cannot handle it. My body just freaked out. I said though I think im crying bcause I wish I could have what she wanted and what she can get when she goes home. A priesthood blessing from her father. I cant get a priesthood blessing from my father because hes not a member but that's okay I said. It just makes me think about what I eventually want for my family that I am definitely making sure that when I have my own family that he is a wrhty holder of the priesthood and that my children will be able to turn to their father when they are in need of a blessing. I never really truly understood the importance of the priesthooduntil I came out on the mission. I was really sick and I had never had a priesthood blessing given to me before. I had the priveledge to receive my first priesthood blessing on the mission from Elder Triffitt. Its just a blessing of comfort and a blessing of health to help us get better. I love priesthood blessings now that I have come to realise and understand the importance. It took me 3years in the gospel to really truly understand the priesthood but I love it now and wish I could get one from my father but im okay with that. I cried because that night I truly felt the love of my lord and how as a missionary im not out here to baptise everyone but just to show them that they have a Heavenly Father who loves them and that they can gain gain the blessings that they are entitled to by believeing in His son Jesus Christ nd coming unto Him. I have growen so much this week and just spiritually. I want to be able to stand in front of my Father in Heaven and Him say "you have done well" because this time that we are on Earth is a time to prepare to meet God. Imagine feeling that way where we stand in front of our fathers andmothers and know that we have disappointed them. I hate that eeling and I know that I do not want to feel tht way when it comes to seeing my father in heaven again one day. I really felt my heavely fathers love for me that night and I just poured out everything that night to Hm and thanked him for all the miracles I have seen with serving Him and in myself and especially for my family. I always wonder, "what is my standing before the Lord?" its a question we should always ask ourselves and I never thought of this until I came on my mission. I wonder where I would have stood before my mission. I hope now I am more worthy as I have come to grow the relationship that I do have with Him.
On Thursday we had a general authority come and speak to us as a zone. His name is Elder Pearson and I love him!!! He is in the first quorum of the seventies and he is the first counsellor in the Area Presidency. He came and basically trained us and made us think about what we are doing and how we can improve and how we can grow. My love for my Saviour deepend that day and it is all thanks to the zone conference and what I was able to take from it. I at times felt like I couldn't look at him because I would start crying. The things he said were just so true. The spirit again touched me so bad I cried after wards. I understand that we truly do not understand how much the Lord does love us. Its beyond our capacity. I honestly know that Heavenly Father does love us and calls men to help and guide us. Elder Pearson is a man called of God and just everything he said just pierced me to the heart. He said at times we as missionaries feel that we are inadequate to do the work of our Lord, remember that He called you to do His work. To share the gospel with those around you. He has found you worthy. So anything that you may feel is holding you back from the past and before your mission, forget about it. Heavenly father had called you to do His work and go out there and DO IT! Don't say you are a missionary, be a missionary. This conference changed me. I gained a hole lot more courage and deeper understanding of my Heavenly Fatehrs love that day that I am so thankful and grateful. I even cried to my companion because I don't ever want to go home. The mission really is the good life. You have the best life as a missionary because you are not thinking of yourselves but of others. This time is not about me, it is about them. And that is the way that it is for the next 16months and Im glad it is that way.
I love my Father in Heaven so much and realise that things happen for a reason. We are stuchk with companions that you love and hate because you have something to learn from them. I am excited to be the best missionary I can be. And I know I am not perfect and never will be but as we give everything over to the Lord, our hearts desires, He will bless us beyond measure. It is an amazing feeling to be able to see the miracles and blessings in our lives. As we try and count our blessings, we cant, because there is just too many. I love my family and cant wait to see them eventually one day but for now, it is the Lords time not my own.
Love Sister McFlinn
x
